I love him till now. And I guess I won't ever stop thinking of him.

Last night.... All of a sudden, I thought of seeing his face again.... I was fortunate for I stil had my primary school class photos.

He was with in the same class with me since primary three till primary six. From primary three to primary four, I always thought he was a jerk as the others had called him. As such, I didn't notice much of him. Besides, back then, I was too, not much of a notice....

However, that thought had changed once I entered primary five....

It had so happened that we were supposed to sit next to each other. Back then, I thought that I was probably the unluckiest girl in the world to be sitting next to him. Who would have known that a few days later, I felt like I was the luckiest girl there ever was to be sitting next to him....

Everyone thought that he was a jerk. However, I saw more than just his surface. I saw his heart. He didn't turn out to be as bad as all the others had said he was. In fact, he was one of the nicest boys that I had ever come across....

He treated me well. He was really friendly. For a moment there, I thought that I was never invisible. I looked forward to meeting him in school everyday. That was probably when I knew that I loved him. I had loved the guy that everyone disliked. I had fallen in love with his mesmerising and encapturing heart. There and then, I just wished that we could be like that forever.

There was once when I was wronged by somebody else of taking their chair, the strangest yet nicest thing had happened to me. He had confronted that person, " Hey you! That chair belongs to Zoey! Don't you dare accuse her of stealing or taking your chair. She did no wrong!"

I was surprised. Nobody had ever stood up or protected me like that before. He was the first. I guessed I really began to love him more then. I felt that no one else could replace his place in my heart....

We even made comics togther. He also had created a game and asked me if I wanted to play it. Definitely I'd play it. Whenever I got picked by the teacher to answer a question, I could not answer as I had not being paying attention. However when he was around, he would tell me the answer to the question. Then, I would just tell the answer to the teacher. We had so much fun then. We (my best friend, Glenice, her crush, Jaymond, me and he) would always be laughing at his jokes. There was one time in class when we started connecting our names togther. Something like this: Jaymond+Glenice=Glenmond, Jaymond+Glenice=Jaynice.

Then, when we came to mixing my name with his, it became like this: Zoey+Nigel=Zogel, Zoey+Nigel=Nigey.

I had no idea why I started to laugh like I had lost all my senses. Back then, Nigel had said," Hey, Zoey! You're blushing aren't you? Your face is all red!"

Of course, I had to cover up the fact that I loved him,"No I'm not! Your face is red! You're the one whose blushing!"

Jaymond and Glenice couldn't help but burst into laughter too....

I was having the time of my life back then. Glenice also knew that I loved Nigel. Inside me, I knew that somehow, Nigel didn't like me. And soon, he would like someone else. Somehow, this thought had came to me. Somehow, I knew that Glenice and Nigel would love each other, while my love for him was one-sided. So, I told Glenice to promise me that no matter what happened, she would never ever love Nigel. She did as she was told. However, she thought that she would NEVER love Nigel. But she was wrong. I was right.... What I had thought did come true....

In primary six, despite the fact that Nigel and I were not sitting next to each other any more, I still loved him. However, I couldn't bring myself to tell him. I was afraid that he wouldn't like me the way I had loved him. As such, he didn't know of my love for him.

In the previous entry I have told you of what happened. So, I'll just move on from there.

Last night, when I saw his face in the photos again. I smiled. I smiled because I knew I loved him like nobody else would. I knew that I couldn't bring myself to hate him for choosing Glenice instead of me. It was all because of one emotion, one feeling that made me feel this way. It was love. For the sake of my love for him, I had sacrificed. As long as I could see him smile, it also made me smile.

[To my dearest love, Nigel]

Dear Nigel

I know that even though you didn't love me, I will still continue to love you. I had loved you since primary five when I first sat next to you. You aren't as bad as what the others say. On the outside you may seem to have many friends. However, on the inside, I know, you are lonely. Just like I am. But you need not be alone. I can be the one to think of you. I can be the one to love you. I can be the one who will appreciate you for who you are. Even if we are far away from each other, as long as you're in my heart, I'll never ever forget the Nigel you once were and always will be to me.

Love,

Zoey

PS: I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU AND FOR AN ETERNITY, my love, Nigel. I'll never forget you ever.